55 Gallon Drum of Lube Amazon Review Funny

(image source; Amazon)

A 55 gallon drum of lube tin can be bought online and delivered directly to your door Information technology'due south not a joke, merely some of these reviews are admittedly hilarious.

The manufacturer knew what they were doing when they posted this particular for auction, even the description is hilarious,

55 Gallons of Life Changing Fun
Looking for the perfect Bachelor/Bachelorette party gift? Trying to impress your friends how big your lube bottle is? Whether you're planning a disastrous office prank or getting a really big finger through a really tiny ring, the 55 Gallon Drum of Passion Natural Water-Based Lube is perfect for y'all! Don't get caught in an apocalypse without it!

This formula is Glycerin-Gratis making it non-viscid and torso-prophylactic for those with Glycerin sensitivities. Did you know that glycerin is a agglomeration of things similar coughing syrups, elixirs and expectorants, toothpaste, mouthwashes, skin care products, shaving foam, pilus intendance products, soaps, but not Passion Natural H2o-Based Lube.

If you lot must, this wonderful lube easily washes away with warm water and mild lather. Now that you are well informed about such a miracle it's time to tap this keg, make full a bathtub and get the party started. Coming Soon: Dash Button and Subscribe and Relieve Ordering; you know who you are.

As well available in four, eight, xvi and 34 oz for the remainder of us. Includes a Free pump!

Merely one user's review truly takes the cake.

Best Review Of All Time

This is past far the greatest user review nosotros've ever read. The text is a footling difficult to read from the screen shot, so we've re-written it beneath:

(paradigm source; Amazon)

I knew getting back in the "dating game" would be a claiming subsequently being out of information technology for over 5 years. When I was released from Joliet, I had to learn all the new things "the dating crowd" was trying. I knew most scented candles and Luther Vandross CDs, and certain was glad to hear people nevertheless use them. Only I had no idea that "lube" was and so popular with the "romantics" out there. All information technology took was one stroll through the Walgreens personal hygiene aisle to show I had to larn a new thing.

"Where to outset?", I wondered. I wanted something simple. However, all I saw in the stores were lubricants that were flavored with cinnamon and paprika, or designed to somehow "estrus" your individual parts. No way, Jose! (I experienced the "rut" thing personally in one case after an adventurous incident with a toaster. I'll stick with "room temperature" from now on, thank yous very much.)

Luckily, I constitute a obviously, one-time-fashioned lubricant that would not make me odor like a dessert topping. And it came in this HUGE tub! No more awkward late-dark Walgreens runs for me, once I could get my easily on this lubricant bin. At present, I admit the price tag was kinda hefty. But after selling the ol' Pontiac Sunfire and borrowing some cash from Aunt Gladys, I was "ready to place my order."

The product just took a week to arrive, and got to my apartment merely in time for my first existent "date" since the gas station incident. Y'all can bet I was nervous for this one. When I got off the bus to meet Carla in front of the Chili's, I just nearly had a center attack! The only affair keeping me at-home was knowing that I could not peradventure run out of lube that nighttime. I gave Carla a reassuring nod and grin, as if to say "Don't worry, Carla, I have plenty of lubricant for later."

The dinner was bully, and afterward knocking back a couple Mojo Mango Margaritas, we were ready to head back to my flat. I winked and told Carla, "Allow's SLIP on out of hither," to run across if she understood the lubricant lingo. I recollect she did. Throughout the charabanc ride back, I grinned and hummed Luther Vandross tunes to set the mood.

When nosotros got to my identify, I already had a candle burning. It was by "Glade", which I think yous pronounce similar the vocalizer Sade, considering it is an exotic candle that smells just like real pine. Later we got comfortable, I asked Carla if she could aid me with the lube. She looked at me weird, and I couldn't tell if information technology was because she idea it was "as well soon" or because I was pushing a mechanical elevator to get the drum barrel out of the storage closet.

So I "took the initiative", equally women similar men to practice, and rolled the barrel out into the living room. "Ready to tap the keg?" I joked, and past "keg" I meant "55-gallon barrel of personal lubricant." She looked at me all shocked, and said "That's it, I'm out of hither!" I asked why, since she didn't demand to run to Walgreens for more lubricant – there was plenty right here. But she didn't reply, and got up to leave anyway. And so, equally Carla was almost to pass me and the butt, she tripped on my dog Poochie and fell right into the lube butt! The strength of the impact downed the barrel and knocked its lid off, sending 55 gallons of water-based lubricant across my faux-hardwood floors.

Carla was completely drenched, and her momentum slid her to the front door – which she somehow managed to pry open with a pair of oven mitts. The last thing I knew, "No-Fun Carla" was screaming profanities and sliding downward three flights of steps. I didn't pay much attending because I was too busy trying to salvage the lube. I managed to go about half of it back into the barrel – the other half probably seeped into Mrs. Pulaski'due south unit below me. I never bothered to enquire if she appreciated the costless souvenir of lubricant.

Anyhow, despite my "user fault", I was quite pleased with the product. These days information technology's difficult to find 55 gallons of olfactory property-free water-based lubricant, and yous can find it correct here at a discount rate! I had to give it only "4 Stars" because information technology didn't come with a lifting appliance. I had to buy my own mechanical elevator separately to booty the bin to my future "dates". So if yous're gear up for fun, "slide" on down to a high quality product at a bargain price!

Honorable Mentions

Here are a few other reviews that are just too adept to pass up. Hope you lot enjoy!

Almost Besides Effective

(paradigm source; Amazon)

Fire Away Mr. Sulu

George Takei, aka Star Trek'south Mr. Sulu, got in on the fun and wrote his own special review for the magical pulsate of pleasure lube.

(image source; Amazon)

Which review is your favorite?

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Source: https://americangg.net/55-gallon-drum-of-lube-best-amazon-review/

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